You know, sometimes you just can't get the past out of your mind. Silly and irrelevant that it may be, it still sucks. So, here's the story. I grew up in a small town in ND. My graduating class was double the normal size and consisted of 63 classmates. Since we were a small town, it was the norm to be involved in lots of activities. Lots for me equated to almost everything that I could do, I did, including sports. Now, just to clarify, we didn't start sports at age 3, like they do in Bismarck. It was generally, for girls, when you went into junior high that you could be on teams etc. Like I said, small town. There was this wonderful coincidence that my school was sorta well known off and on for having solid girls basketball team due partially to the coach. So, of course, I was on the basketball team. My poor parents sent me to multiple camps every summer, drove my butt into town (we lived in the country) for early practices every morning both in and off season. The truth be told, as anyone who saw me play could tell you, was that I sucked. My friends did it, so I did it. Don't get me wrong. The exercise, teamwork, etc was all good for me. The problem is that since we were small town, I was allowed to keep playing on some level until I decided to quit. There wasn't "you didn't make the team," I was just a continual bench warmer. This went on for about four or five years.
Of course, I was also in track during the duration of my basketball career and did so, so on jumping. When my school finally formed a volleyball team, followed a few years later by a golf team, I joined both. It was pretty much all the same story, except for golf. I can hit a ball fairly decent, but my putting sucks. The moral of this little story is that I sucked at sports. Try as I might, I was just not naturally athletic, nor did I catch on quick. Looking back, it does show some degree of perseverance on my part that I kept going with it all for so long. Maybe just stupidity? By the time I was done with sports in school, I was done exercising. I have been told, either directly or indirectly, long enough that I was no good and I therefore decided to hate exercise of any kind. Yep, young and dumb.
Now we come to the parts of the story that you may have heard before. The reason that I started going to Crossfit was because my husband lost 100 pounds and I felt some pressure to also get my butt in shape. I didn't really need to lose weight, just get healthy and tone. Truth be told, it sucked at the start. After not working out at all for seventeen years and gaining & losing 150 lbs between three pregnancies, it kicked my ass. Running was the worst. Brian heard lots of swearing every time we ran for a solid half year. As time passed, I realized that it felt good to be sore for a reason and noticed that my clothes were fitting differently. You should have heard me giggling with joy the first time that I really saw some muscles in the mirror one morning when I was checking my progress. Totally addicted by that point. Then came the health issues last January with my throat that are still present. I adapted and focused more on lifting, as this was easier on my breathing. Lifting rocks! Hands down, it is my favorite thing to do at Crossfit. I may be slow, but for my size and how long I have been working out, my lifting numbers are pretty good at our gym. I make a point to push myself in ways that is is currently possible for me to grow and know that when I get the health crap figured out, I can tackle getting my times down where they should be. And at least 90% of the time, Rx is my middle name. Anyhow, Crossfit is part of my life now and that won't change. I finally feel like I am good at something athletic. Then I heard that there was roller derby in Bismarck. My eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and I was on the search. Granted, I grew up in the country with gravel roads and have no clue how to skate, but I was willing to learn. Low and behold, a friend of mine stops in and says that his wife is in derby. Then a few days later, some of the Bombshellz come into my studio for a birthday party and recruit me. Perfect!!!!! Got my gear asap and after my surgery this May, I was on the track attempting to skate. For as in shape as I am and as good of balance that I have with overhead squats, I sure am squirrely on wheels! I really should have been counting the number of bruises that I have had thus far, because it is pretty impressive. Even though I go down a lot, I am quick to get back up and try for more. If I want something bad enough, I find a way to make it happen. This brings us to the whole point of this long ass blog. We had our first basic skills testing, and I did not pass. I am finding it hard to wrap my head around this. For someone who just started skating in June and has only skated two days a week max (due to lack of a smooth surface to practice on other than at practice) I should be happy where I am at. The way that I look at myself athletically since I joined CrossfitCrossfitters could see that point. We push ourselves at every WOD to go faster, lift more weight, have perfect form, etc. We are trained to become addictive to perfection. When I look back to where I was in high school and what I felt capable of then, it is the complete opposite of my outlook now. If I want a killer deadlift, I know that I can put in the work and it will come. When people ask after they see my derby bruises, why I do it, it's because it is fun and challenging. I just want to get better faster! Gone is any patience that I pretended to have. It truthfully sucks not moving out of fresh meat status, and maybe it is just a mental thing like in high school where someone else is again telling me that I am not good enough. So enough whining. My outlook is going to be positive from this day forward. I will be the best fresh meater out there and when the time comes in December to test again, I am going to lack the smack down on some derby candy asses! (I love the Rock!) Please and Thank You for listening.
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